Book Chat: Catch Me a Catch

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Patricia Bubroof:

All right. So welcome to this edition of Book Chat. We are welcoming the author of Catch Me a Catch, Leora Hoffman, to the roundtable, so to speak. I want to do a little introduction about why don’t we do this and then a little introduction about Leora, and then we’ll start asking her some questions. For some reason. There we go. Today, being December 28th is a very auspicious day for both Leora and me. Both of our parents were married on this day, on different continents, different years. But as one of the main things that we do in Assisting Hands Home Care Potomac is honor our elders and take very good care of them, I thought it would be sweet to share our family stories with the rest of you.

Patricia Bubroof:

I’m the youngest of 10 grandchildren. My mom and dad were married in Trenton, New Jersey in 1947 in a snowstorm. And they had to wait and wait and wait for all their relatives from New York to come in on the train because of the snowstorm. So it was quite an auspicious day. I’m really happy to say that my mom and I are still hanging out together and doing quite well. So if you can do the math, you can figure out that my mom’s now 93. Ellen Hardy, yay. And then Leora’s parents were married on this day in 1946, just the year before, in Haifa. Leora began her career more as a lawyer than as a matchmaker. But she’s been busy with Love By Leora for 30 years.

Leora Hoffman:

  1. Yes.

Patricia Bubroof:

Thirty-one years is amazing. And she continues to this day to enjoy that whole delightful concept of getting people into love. And she’s going to talk to us a lot about that, but you can read about her follies, her history of how she got to where she is, and her gorgeous mom and dad. So sweet.

Leora Hoffman:

Thank you.

Patricia Bubroof:

There we go. So I’ll just leave that one up for a little while. So you can see if you want to get in touch with Leora at some point, her website is there, her phone number and her email. So if you know folks that you think should know Leora or if you yourself should, then hop on the internet world and find her by phone, by email, by the website. So today, I’m very excited because … About, what, six months ago or more?

Leora Hoffman:

February, so yeah.

Patricia Bubroof:

So almost a year. Almost a year. Leora very diligently put together this book, and we’re going to talk about … Maybe you could tell us just a little bit about how you first decided to start writing this and how long that process took because this is your first book, right?

Leora Hoffman:

It’s my first and only book. And interestingly, when I started the business in 1989, I went to a business consultant, who was an MBA from Wharton who helped startup businesses. And he said to write a book. That’s your best marketing strategy. And I looked at him blankly, this was 1989, I hadn’t started the business yet, and I thought, what in the world could I have to say at that point? And so the idea went on the back-burner. Fast forward 25 years approximately, I was then single again after going through a divorce. And I had a very good friend who I met through a group called New Beginnings who was an author. I would share my matchmaking worries with him. And he said to me, “Leora, you must write this stuff down. It’s too good to publish.” And I thought, well, yeah.

Leora Hoffman:

I was so busy with everything, raising two children, running a business. At that time I was also practicing law, so juggling two careers. And so I thought, yeah, yeah, I’ll get around to it someday. And then this very dear friend died very suddenly of a heart attack. And the shock of it really devastated me, number one, but number two, inspired me to write down the stories and to put this book together and I dedicated the book to him, actually. And it really amazed me how much I had to say when I started writing it. So the first draft kind of came to me in about three months. I just wrote and wrote, and I didn’t worry about what I would do with this manuscript or what would become of it, I just wrote.

Leora Hoffman:

So I was very surprised that it took me only about three months to produce the first draft. But then the question of what to do with it came up and whether I wanted to go the traditional publisher route or self-publish. And I talked to a lot of people who were both published authors and self-published and I got a referral to a wonderful editor in Florida. And she read my manuscript and said she thought it had a lot of market appeal, and she wanted to help me really refine it. And so the developmental editing phase took about nine months after that. Soup to nuts was a two-year project.

Patricia Bubroof:

That’s great. One of the things that are so interesting to me is that Gene Cohen’s research on how creative aging makes us much more active as creative agers. So the fact that you decided to write this book and then did it doesn’t really shock me. That’s your personality, totally. So I thought it would be fun to segue and just get a feel for how you write, and why your friend said to you, you should write these down. Can you read a couple of those quips about first dates?

Leora Hoffman:

Sure.

Patricia Bubroof:

Because I think that would be really fun to set the tone.

Leora Hoffman:

Sure. I have a chapter in the book called First Date Follies. And it’s about the stories of my clients who I have gotten together. And when I make an introduction or a match, I always get mutual agreement for people to me. I summarize each person’s situation. I provide photos. And then they decide if they’re interested in meeting. And then I get the feedback once they have met. I continue to be surprised after 31 years at the things that happen between people. This is what fascinates me, this is what amuses me and gave me the raw material for this book. So I’ll give you an example of kind of a funny scenario that I encountered. As I said, this is in my chapter called First Date Follies.

Leora Hoffman:

Sometimes couples are quick to jump ship over deal-breakers that may or may not come to fruition. Mark, a successful Jewish real estate developer in his early 50s living in Richmond, Virginia, fit this scenario perfectly. He was a tall, nice looking fellow with warm blue eyes and a trimmed physique. He had divorced decades earlier and never had children of his own. He hoped to meet a single mom since he was so family-oriented and loved the idea of having a potential step-family. Mark had been involved in several long term relationships since his divorce. He had built himself a beautiful new home complete with all the latest electronics, including a home theater which he could share with a potential partner or wife.

Leora Hoffman:

Like many clients of his ilk, he was extremely picky about his partner’s looks and would only consider meeting exceptionally attractive women. I understood his standards and recruited a fabulous attorney named Shelly for him. A Jewish woman in her late 40s living in the DC area, Shelly was divorced with two grown children with whom she was very close. She was a beautiful, elegant woman with shoulder-length blond hair, green eyes, and an athletic figure. When Mark saw her photo, he was more than happy to make the three-hour drive from Richmond to meet her. It was worth a try, I reasoned since Shelly had expressed her wish to settle down with a financially solid man. And she was willing to consider relocating to his area if they were to become seriously involved.

Leora Hoffman:

As I eagerly awaited his feedback after their first date, I gauge the probability of success for this match to be very high. They were both Jewish, attractive, successful, and motivated, having resolved to make whatever adjustments were necessary to make a relationship work. Mark called the following day and said, “Well, I honestly don’t know what to make of this situation. I’ve never encountered an issue like this before. We were having a great time,” he continued, “we seemed to hit it off right away and were chatting over dinner when the subject of funerals came up for some reason. I’m not sure why she even brought up the subject. But she mentioned that she had recently decided that she wanted to be cremated. I was stunned.

Leora Hoffman:

First of all, she was raised in a conservative Jewish household, so I was really taken aback that a Jewish person would stray from the traditional Jewish burial practices. As for me, I’ve already reserved a burial plot for myself. I would never marry anyone who wasn’t interested in being buried alongside me pure and simple. I wasn’t sure what to say and asked, ‘Are you saying that because of this issue that surfaced you don’t think you want to see her again?’ I really don’t know.” He responded. “I really liked her. But the cremation thing feels like a deal-breaker for me.”

Patricia Bubroof:

Okay. Don’t tell them the answer.

Leora Hoffman:

To continue, I thought for a moment and then said, “Mark, if I were you, I’d worry more about living with a person at this point than dying with them.” We couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the conversation. “Seriously,” I continued, “I understand your concerns, but realize where we are in this process. There’s a huge continuum between being on a first date and making final decisions with someone. A love relationship, which of course takes time, needs to be built before those issues can even be discussed. I’ve seen people make major changes for the right person, they got to know them and became more committed to them. Suppose you fell in love and asked her to agree to a burial.

Leora Hoffman:

Who’s to say she wouldn’t make that adjustment given where you were in your relationship? Of course, that’s not something you could even know at this point. So it seems foolish to throw away any possibilities for an issue that’s so far down the road. I recommend that you focus on the positives at this point, and see if you can build on those.” Mark thought for a while and agreed to ask her out again. They had two more dates where neither of them mentioned the subject again but the relationship never progressed any further. The deal-breaker for Mark turned out to be Shelly’s slow response time and returning his calls and his seeming need to control every aspect of their planning. While the outcome was disappointing, that concern rather than some far removed issue, which made much more sense to me, as a matchmaker, trying to figure out where dating nonstarters occur.

Leora Hoffman:

So that gives you one scenario of many that I highlight in the book, situations where things didn’t quite go smoothly in the beginning. And where I was able to really talk sense into people, give them a perspective, give them more information about the other person before they made a decision. And sometimes really be that intermediary and that diplomat who smooth things over, without which they never would have had a second or third or fourth date. And the book talks about couples who are married who would never have progressed to that point had I not served in that capacity as an intermediary.

Patricia Bubroof:

Yeah. And I think one thing that, for those folks who haven’t read the book yet, you should know is that it’s mostly a story about Leora’s own love life, which is quite extensive and multifaceted. A couple of marriages, some longtime relationships, some wild flings. I mean, it’s got a little bit of everything in there. I can’t wait for the movie to come out. But I think what’s also very clever is the way she weaves that her personal story and with an example of how that’s helped shape her value as a matchmaker, and that she does take the time to move things along in a really positive way, whenever possible. And there have been lots of those stories. And even the way she met her now-husband, Jim, is a very sweet story of trusting her friends as matchmakers. And how many of us have had that happen? So, do you want to share a little bit about that story?

Leora Hoffman:

Sure. And in fact, I’m happy to read … It’s really the beginning of the book. I start with my first date with Jim and then I go back in time. As Patricia said, with every personal chapter, there is a corresponding professional chapter with basically the same theme. I wanted to be able to give people, first of all, a sense of me as a person, because there are dozens, probably hundreds, actually, of dating books out there, self-help books on how to date. I didn’t want to be one of those books. I wanted people to learn the lessons from reading my story and the stories I’ve encountered in my practice. Because I didn’t come to this work from an ivory tower of marriage.

Leora Hoffman:

I started the business when I was married to my former husband and my children were very young. And then I went through a divorce. And then I had a very unfortunate second marriage, which was essentially a rebound situation, which I called a cautionary tale in the book, and I go into that in great detail. And then I was single for 12 years after that experience, and was in no hurry to get seriously involved, even though I kept looking during that time. And so when my friends suggested that I meet my husband, my now-husband, Jim, to whom I’ve been married for seven years, I as a matchmaker understood the value of that. Because when two people who know one another recommend both parties, you have a lot more information. And if you trust the person who is making the recommendation you say, well, what have you got to lose?

Leora Hoffman:

And so I start my book with that story, which I will share briefly. It’s called My Last First Date. Chapter One. Noting the irony of the entryway, I walked through the revolving door to a popular restaurant called founding farmers to meet Jim. The door seemed to be an apt symbol of my dating life, given that I had been on dozens of dates mostly through online introductions since my second divorce 12 years earlier. This one, however, was different. Good friends introduced us and they knew us both very well. The wife was my good friend and a couples therapist, so I trusted her judgment. The husband was Jim’s old friend and work colleague, who had seen Jim through the loss of his wife six years earlier. As such, he was heavily invested in helping Jim move on.

Leora Hoffman:

The couple told Jim that I was a lawyer working for the DC Attorney General in the Child Protection Division. They told me that Jim was a chief psychologist in a treatment based correctional facility in Maryland, so we were well matched professionally, which was a good start. They had worked incessantly for two years to get us together. Finally, we agreed the time had come. I saw Jim waved to me as I approached the bar and immediately felt a mixture of nervousness and resignation. We had exchanged photos so I knew who to look for. Unfortunately, this made things a bit more awkward for me initially, because I didn’t feel that he was my type. It was a visceral response on my part that I tried to put aside in the interest of keeping an open mind.

Leora Hoffman:

While I wanted to like him, I had my doubts, especially after our initial phone call, which had not gone all that well. On top of that, he had described himself through several emails in terms that I didn’t find all that appealing. So here we were, Jim having obliged his friend to meet me, and me feeling so tired of dating that I had almost resigned myself to accepting my fate of remaining single. After all, I was blessed in so many other ways. I had two children who were my pride and joy despite having raised them under highly stressful conditions. I had pulled myself together after two divorces, built an interesting career, had a loving circle of family and friends, managed to travel often, and generally had a happy life.

Leora Hoffman:

I finally concluded that I would be okay without a man. But in my heart of hearts, I longed for the love that was missing from my life. To my surprise, I found Jim charming, wickedly funny, and incredibly sharp. About halfway into my first glass of wine, I became increasingly engaged in the conversation and intrigued by this man. His journey had been a heart-wrenching one and he openly shared his experience with complete honesty, without becoming melodramatic or over-emotional. I admired his devotion to his late wife, whose illness had dragged on for many years. Since then, Jim had tried online dating, and we exchange anecdotes about some of those experiences, laughing at the various characters we’d encountered, and add ourselves for handling some of those situations so pathetically.

Leora Hoffman:

Once I gathered up the courage, I told him that I was a professional matchmaker. Jim paws and asked, “Well, what the hell are you doing here?” I couldn’t blame him for asking. He must have thought that I’d have “the pick of the litter” from my population of single male clients and didn’t need to be on a blind date. My cheeks burned as I explained to him how my professional ethics prevented me from dating my own clients. Therefore, it had been even harder for me to meet a quality man. Jim understood right away and tried to make me feel better by reassuring me that he felt awkward about dating to and wish they were an easier way for him as well.

Leora Hoffman:

The evening sped by as fast as the wine flowed and we lingered over our salads for hours. I found myself confiding in this man for some unknown reason, sharing things about my life I would have never disclosed on a first date. He responded to the trust that I had placed in him and reciprocated. It was touching. We also laughed often and easily together and discovered that we shared a similar sense of humor and skeptical outlook on life. Before we knew it was 11:00 p.m. on a school night, so Jim asked for the check, which I was pleased about, and we called it a night.

Leora Hoffman:

As we exited the restaurant into the cold March night, I realized just how much fun I’d had, absent any flirtation in either of our parts, unlike so many dates I’d experienced in the past. Standing outside awkwardly and trembling in the bitter cold, neither of us knew exactly how to end the evening. I wasn’t sure what I really wanted, but thanked him politely and said that it was nice to have finally met him. He made no move to give me a goodbye hug or kiss. Instead, he said the same, and we parted ways. During my drive home, I played the evening over in my head. That was by far the most interesting and substantive conversation I’ve ever had on a first date, I thought, but who knows whether I’ll ever see him again.

Leora Hoffman:

I resumed the frenetic activity of my life. And after five days, I had not heard from Jim. Well, that was that, I thought. By the end of the week, however, I was surprised to get an email from him. He wrote that while he had enjoyed our conversation very much, and could “see how we could build on that”, he was unsure about the chemistry between us. My ego was somewhat stung by his lack of passion toward me. I didn’t know how to respond. Part of me thought you’re the guy, why are you putting this on me? If you like me, then just ask me out again. On the other hand, I found myself happy to hear from him again and respected his honesty.

Leora Hoffman:

Was I interested in seeing him again? The question brought to bear years of experience coaching clients in my matchmaking practice. I had witnessed many couples work out after an initial period of uncertainty. “You never know>,” I told myself. So I decided to take my own advice because deep down, I didn’t want to let this go. In my usual diplomatic style, I responded, “It’s nice to hear from you. Very much enjoyed our evening together too. For me, chemistry is the result of spending time with someone and developing a comfort zone and connection with that person over time. I, therefore, would be happy to get together again and see where this goes.”

Leora Hoffman:

Actually, that wasn’t true at all. My past relationships have generally gotten started with a strong physical attraction that led to a series of broken hearts. I realized that this might be a much healthier situation, at least a different one since I wasn’t invested in the outcome either way.” So I won’t give you the details of the rest of the chapter. Obviously, we’re together and married seven years now, so it worked out. But it is interesting how it developed. And the book talks in great detail about the struggles I went through at the beginning of the relationship as it deepened and as I dealt with issues concerning his late wife and feeling a bit jealous over that and how he handled that. And how we struggled through issues that all couples encounter in their own unique form as things develop.

Patricia Bubroof:

So I’m going to ask our audience members if there are any specific questions that they’d like to ask at this point because we’re getting a little close on time. But I also wanted to say that one of the things that I love about that first chapter is that you say, you were just at that point of saying, I’m going to be the lady who lives alone with cats. And I think that kind of surrender to the universe without sounding too woo-woo has a really intense chemical reaction to the planet. That when you’re really willing to give it up, then things can come in. I don’t know.

Leora Hoffman:

Thank you for saying that, Patricia. I think that’s so true because, and I tell my clients this all the time, so many people come to me, they’re sort of still seeing someone where it’s not going well. And they know there’s not much of a future, but they can’t seem to let it go. But they want something better and healthier for themselves. And I always tell them, you have to step out into that limbo for the magic to happen. Because it doesn’t happen when you’re clinging to old things that are dysfunctional and weighing you down. But that limbo is so scary because you don’t know what it’s going to bring. So I was thrilled every day during that time? We all have our ups and downs in terms of being single. But I finally got to the point where if this was the worst that was going to happen in my life, then I was going to make it a good life.

Patricia Bubroof:

Yeah. That’s great. Anybody else has a question or want to share a thought? Okay. We’ll keep going. If you have a question and you don’t want to ask it out loud, you can put it in chat. I’m happy to ask it for you. Ellen’s got something. Unmute yourself, sweetie.

Ellen:

All right. I’ll ask a question. Leora and I know each other for a very long time.

Leora Hoffman:

Decades. Yes.

Ellen:

Decades. Yes. And we like each other.

Leora Hoffman:

Yes.

Patricia Bubroof:

And they’re both amazing businesswomen. Ellen just celebrated her 25th anniversary.

Leora Hoffman:

Congrats.

Patricia Bubroof:

In the insurance business. So, bravo.

Ellen:

I am the insurance guy. So I ran across a number of men who would just they really didn’t want a relationship. They thought they did and they said they did, but their actions really didn’t lead to that. I was just wondering if you could comment on that. I may be able to say that about me, I don’t know. This is about them right now.

Leora Hoffman:

Well, I think, be careful what you wish for. You’ve heard that expression. There are people who come to me who say … I mean, everyone who comes to me says I want to meet someone special. By definition. But some people don’t know that they’re not ready, even if they think they’re ready, and even if they express that they’re ready. And the only way to find that out, Ellen, as you did, unfortunately, and so did I, and my book is full of stories like that, that I experienced, it’s not until you’re in the relationship with that person that you can know for sure. Because sometimes it surprises them. Sometimes these are not bad guys who want to leave you at all. These are guys who may not have that self-awareness that you have.

Leora Hoffman:

So they think they want a relationship and they start down that road, and then they realize, no, I may not be cut out for this. This feels too threatening to me. And so they find a way to make it end, and usually find a way to make the women break up with them. because they don’t like confrontation. Exactly. So over 31 years doing this work, I’ve gotten better at spotting them for my clients, but some people are very skilled and very charming. They’ll say all the right things, but it’s not until they’re put to the test. My philosophy has always been that actions speak louder than words. And so you can tell, I would say, within three months of dating somebody how serious-minded they are, based on how they treat you.

Leora Hoffman:

I remember dating one guy who from the beginning, I was so attracted to him, and I wanted it to work. But from the beginning, he was doing things that were giving me messages that he was never going to commit. I sort of overlooked them until I really could no longer overlook them.

Patricia Bubroof:

I think it’s … Go ahead.

Ellen:

I also want to bring up one other thing that you talked about the guy from Richmond, he only wanted to date fabulously gorgeous women. And half the time you think, have you looked in the mirror? I remember my aunt wanted to fix me up with somebody and the guy wouldn’t go until he saw a picture.

Leora Hoffman:

You know what, men are so visual.

Patricia Bubroof:

I just want to bring into the loop, Irene Shere, who has written a book that’s going to be out and we’re going to do a book chat with her in March called the Care and Feeding of the Aging Human Male Species. I think that kind of fits into this dialogue so well that I just want to make sure that you guys all introduced to each other.

Ellen:

Right. Right. Right. Leora, I love your stories. They’re so wonderful. I really resonate with what you were just saying in terms of when someone’s ready for a relationship. I mean, I was divorced after 33 years, my husband left, and I was single for five years and struggling financially, emotionally. And after five years, I finally decided I could live a really good single life. And then the next month I met Bill. It’s almost like there’s a video where you don’t need this. You’re living your own life and having a good life. But also, I mean, I was, how old was I at the time, I was 62. Okay.

Ellen:

And the other thing that happens is sure, there’s a relationship, I was so set in my ways, and he was so set in his ways when you’ve had decades of living. So it’s like, there’s a lot there. But is there also flexibility and things change. But I really resonated with what you said. It sounds like I feel a little bit more like, there are a lot of men who are so not self-aware that they don’t know if they’re ready. So they may seem charming and like they want to be in a relationship, but it might not work because they’re not really tuned in to where they are in their life.

Leora Hoffman:

Exactly. Exactly.

Patricia Bubroof:

So let’s close up with some wise words from Leora on love. What’s like your basic one, two, three that you tell people when they want to talk to you about becoming their matchmaker, what is it that they need to bring to the table for you?

Leora Hoffman:

Well, I tell people that love and chemistry, and relationships are no simple matters. They’re complicated. I don’t match people because they both play tennis or they both like skiing. There have to be really many factors I consider in a potential good match. So I think the winning formula for a good match is shared goals, shared values, the right chemistry, which is always the wild card because no one can supply that, not even the most talented matchmakers. That’s in nature. That’s either going to be there or not. But I also say that a pinch of humor is really, really helpful in stirring the pot and that it is never too late to find that right relationship.

Leora Hoffman:

As Patricia knows, I’m very active in the senior community and I just recently matched an 84 and 85-year-old couple who like each other and have started to explore the possibilities. So, I think there’s always an opportunity. As a true romantic doing this work, I feel like as long as people understand that it’s a process. It’s not something that happens overnight. The best relationships are a gradual process of getting to know each other. And I’m all about finding that love relationship, not a date for people. So they have to be realistic and they have to be flexible. And as I said, a sense of humor really, really helps.

Leora Hoffman:

What I hope my book accomplishes for people, and I’ve heard that the single people who have read it have said that they felt a lot of hope from reading the book. That my story is a challenging one. I was divorced twice as a matchmaker. It was quite embarrassing for me to say I was doing twice and would people still trust in my skills and my abilities, and yet it wasn’t about that. It was about my belief that I was going to find it and that with every situation I encountered, I looked at it as a learning lesson. And every bad day that I had, as I said, I tried to have a good time with it. I tried to make a friend or I tried to make a business contact, or maybe match a friend of mine who I knew would be better suited to this person.

Leora Hoffman:

So it’s always about making lemonade out of lemons, but embracing where you are and being willing to be flexible, as I said. Because I like to distinguish between flexibility and settling. And I think every relationship requires compromise. But as long as you feel that you are not settling and that this is a person who really gets you, celebrates who you are, gets you, supports you, that’s what it’s all about. And also for couples, the book is a message that a good relationship takes work also. I talked about the fact that Jim and I have done couples work together in this book, because … I don’t think that there’s any shame in that. I think we’re much stronger and healthier for having done it. But we have significant differences coming into the marriage.

Leora Hoffman:

As you say, Irene, you’ve led a full life when you meet later in life. So there are bound to be speed bumps. And so my message is also get the support you need and make it the best relationship you can make it. There’s no shame in that and I wanted to take the stigma out of that. So as I said, my goal was to give out a message of positivity and also to entertain people with the stories. So, yeah, I hope you’ll read it if you haven’t already. And Irene, I would be delighted to read your book when it comes out.

Patricia Bubroof:

Go ahead, Ellen.

Ellen:

Where can we buy your book, Leora?

Leora Hoffman:

it’s on amazon.com. You can also go to the home page of my website, there’s a link there on the homepage of my website or you can go directly to amazon.com. And it’s available in paperback or Kindle.

Ellen:

Okay.

Leora Hoffman:

And if any of you, either of you get it and would like me to sign it for you, hold on to it. And when we’re COVID safe, I would be happy to meet up with you and have coffee and sign the book.

Patricia Bubroof:

Amen to that.

Ellen:

…those plans awhile.

Patricia Bubroof:

Yeah. I know. It might be next fall, but we’ll keep our fingers crossed.

Leora Hoffman:

Whenever.

Patricia Bubroof:

Someday.

Leora Hoffman:

Yeah.

Patricia Bubroof:

Well, I want to thank you, Leora, for popping in today for our book chat. It’s always so fun to learn right from the author what their drive is, why they do this. You’re so passionate about love, I can’t think of a better person to have written this book or to have explored that idea of matchmaking for folks who really are open to it. I think it’s really important to have somebody else who can do some of that go-between and behind the scenes and coaching and chew with your mouth closed kinds of tips, whatever it is that you say to people. I had a 104-year-old friend that said, “All I’m looking for is somebody who drives at night, chews with his mouth closed, and can have a conversation over dinner. Is that so difficult?” And she said, “But 104-year-olds don’t typically do that.” So she had to date younger men. And of course, they didn’t want to know that she was 104.

Leora Hoffman:

Amazing. I heard an interview with a woman who was over 100 who had been married like 70 years. And the interviewer said, “What was your secret?” And she said, “I’ll put it in four simple words, go with the flow.”

Patricia Bubroof:

Good for her.

Ellen:

That’s great.

Patricia Bubroof:

I say that mantra a lot in my relationship. It’s all good. I’m like, is this worth an argument? No.

Leora Hoffman:

Right.

Patricia Bubroof:

Anyway, so we have some other fun events coming up for the new year. Wishing everybody a happy, healthy and safe 2021. We’ve got on Friday, January 8th, our monthly What’s Your Plan where Steve Lorberbaum speaks to a guest who’s also in the senior realm. It’s going to be Leah Nickaman, and she talks about money management, and how to get your family money things in order. And on January 11th, We’ve got our delightful Yoga for Healing. It’s a very gentle, delicious yoga class led usually by Marie, and it’s just the sweetest yoga class ever. Everybody’s invited.

Patricia Bubroof:

And then we also do Death Cafe, which I co-host with my village, Pumphouse Village in East Rockville, and we just have an open conversation about death and dying. It’s not religious, it’s not political. It’s just about maybe your couple with the funeral things could come to that. Just talking openly about what people plan and what they’re thinking about. And then at the end of the month, our next Book Chat this month for January will be Rachel Wonderlin, who is an expert in the field of dementia, and has written a book outlining some creative tools that you can use for folks who are living with the challenges of dementia. So we try to keep it varied. If you have suggestions, we’re open to it. I thank you again for coming to play with us today in Book Chat. Leora, I am delighted to see you.

Leora Hoffman:

Thank you for having me.

Patricia Bubroof:

Happy New Year to you and Jim.

Leora Hoffman:

Thank you. Happy new year to everyone. Thank you for your attention today. Feel free to reach out to me with comments, feedback about the book, or anything else. Okay.

Patricia Bubroof:

Bye guys. Yes.

Leora Hoffman:

Bye.

Ellen:

Thanks, Patricia.

Patricia Bubroof:

You’re welcome.

If you would like to schedule an appointment to discuss your Alzheimer’s and Dementia care needs or to set up a free in-home evaluation with one of our nurses, call us today in Potomac at (301) 363-2580.

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